Thursday, May 17, 2012

Can be very frank

My handwriting analysis has shown me some good things and some bad things about myself.  For the most part the things that it said were either good or bad, not both.  Being very frank has helped me and hurt me.
I can't help but to be very honest.  And not only am I honest but if someone asks me about something I will tell them how I really feel.  It is a dangerous thing to ask me a question that you are worried about the answer.  I am not good at softening the blow when I say something that might not be positive.
How has being a very frank person helped me?  My friends and family know that I am keeping it 100% with them.  I don't have a problem breaking bad news to people.  I don't have a problem with confrontations.  If I am ever in a search committee I tend to ask the questions that no one else wants to ask.  I have been able to talk to people on a real level about real issues that are affecting their lives.  Being honest and frank with myself has helped me to see things how they really are and not how I hoped they would be.
How has it hurt me?  Ask my wife.  God blessed me with a woman that thinks oppositely than me on very important things.  For example how to deal with people.  My wife would never hurt someone.  Her favorite word is "tact."  She cares more about how someone feels then she does about being very honest with them.  She would rather hold something back and show love then say what she thinks and risk hurting them.  I have yet to understand this principle.  It is very tough for me to keep my big mouth shut.  If you are my friend I will tell you what I think without weighing the risk that I could possibly hurt your feelings.  Feelings are on the side and they are not on the forefront.  I genuinely believe that after it is all said and done you will thank me for being honest with you instead of preserving your feelings.  This isn't very realistic on my part.
I have said things that I regret.  I have put my foot in my mouth.  I have hurt people that I care about.  All in the quest for the honest truth.  If you haven't noticed one of my things is being honest with myself.  If you can't be honest with yourself then you are not living in reality.  I like to live in reality even though it isn't fun sometimes.  I think that is what drives me to be very honest and frank with someone.  What I'm working on now is mixing love and honesty.  I need to realize that I am different and not everyone wants to hear exactly what I think without any cushion.  Maybe the whole point of this handwriting analysis is listen to Natalie more, love people more and keep my mouth shut.  Sounds about right.

1 comment:

Jonathan Brassington said...

Why do you think I called you to talk about Union College? There are many others I could have called, but nope. You always shoot straight. Thanks, Rich. :)